The REAL Michael Vick Experience

Welcome to the NEW Michael Vick Experience. Vick is fast but apparently he can't outrun a pink puppet from the Chappelle Show, aka Herpes Simplex 2. That's right, Mike has the gift that keeps on giving. And allegedly, he shared his gift with some groupie who is now suing him for transmitting it to her. And that isn't even the funniest part! In the complaint, the alleged victim named Vick under his real name and his alias.....RON MEXICO. Side note: I'd like to announce that my fantasy football team will now be named Ron Mexico's Toros.

And while this may sound like bad news for Vick, this is probably good for him. For the last year, Mike has been dodging rumors that he's gay. The rumors were so rampant last year that he gave the quote of 2004 to clear the air about his sexual preference: "Everybody who knows me knows how I get down. "

The only thing that raises suspicions about the suit is the snail's pase at which Vick moved before giving this chick the "Experience". They met in May 2001 and didn't have sex until late 2002. 2002!!! Only Bethel moves slower (it's about time you got engaged). I cannot imagine any other professional athlete waiting over a year before having sex with a girl. Unless, of course, he really is gay.