JD's Weekend Entertainment Guide

I'd really love to recommend a movie at theaters that everybody needs to watch, but unfortunately the movies out right now suck (except Sin City). Exhibit A: Guess Who. Exhibit B: Fever Pitch. Exhibit C: Sahara ("Alright, alright") And there's no end in sight until Episode III in May. So instead, I'll recommend a few movies to rent this weekend.

* The Motorcycle Diaries - I'm sure you guys have all seen some hippie or someone on tv wearing a t-shirt with a photo of some Hispanic dude with a beard and wearing beret. That guy is Che Guerava. The movie is about a motorcycle trip young Che and his med school buddy took across 1950's South America. Pretty cool story about how the trip shaped Che's revolutionary views. Made me wish I had gone on one of Heaton's cross-country trips (One day Will). Only downside to this movie: subtitles.

* Miami Vice Season 1, Disc 1 - Everybody's classic 80s show. It was great to see how the show started and Crockett got mixed up with Tubbs. It's amazing that it started with a brief cameo from Jimmy Smits. Go back and watch it before the movie adaptation ruins it all for an entire generation. I'm not sure if Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx can pull it off. And I had forgotten that Crockett had a pet alligator.

* The Office - Don't be confused by the NBC version. The BBC original was f'ing brilliant. Here's all you need to know: even Jav liked it! Compare the BBC pilot vs the NBC pilot and they're identical (minus the Brit accents & euphemisms). The BBC characters are much more likeable and funnier, especially the manager David Brenner. NBC's will be off the air by June.

* Arrested Development Season 1 - This is the funniest show you're probably not watching. Despite its lowly ratings, the first season won the Emmy last year for best comedy. No show has done that since Seinfeld. Like Seinfeld, it's running dangerously close to being cancelled in its second season (more than likely since Fox has a history of cancelling shows in their prime - see Family Guy; and they kept Tru Calling?? Why?). This show also passed the Jav-test. Funniest characters (tough call): Gob, struggling magician and overall fcuk up, and Tobias, aspiring actor and self-proclaimed "never-nude" (incapable of being totally nude - instead wears daisy dukes in the shower, etc.)
Speaking of Family Guy, new episodes begin May 1.

* Closer - I just watched this a few days ago. I'm planning on watching it again because I'm still not what the movie says about relationships (besides they can be really fcuked up and women are liars). But one thing was crystal clear: Natalie Portman's ass. Fantastic. I had no idea Queen Amidala had a body like that. She plays a stripper but the director cut her nude scenes (MFer). Clive Owen did an awesome job in the movie as a sex-obsessed doctor in love with Julia Roberts.

* Alexander - This isn't available on DVD yet and I heard the movie sucks it anyway. But Rosario Dawson is naked. NAKED dammit! Her tig ol' bitties are there for all to see. I think I need to watch it in HDTV.